Okay, I have a confession to make. I am the most impatient person I know when it comes to life goals. Generally speaking I have a decent amount of patience. If you knew me personally, you wouldn’t think of me as a particularly impatient person. You could keep me waiting for an hour and would get away with very few sarcastic comments. But when it comes to producing measurable results around something I’m overly passionate about, I place a massive amount of pressure on myself to the point that I can get burned out very quickly.
This past year hasn’t been easy and I wasn’t expecting it to be either. When I quit my job last year to transition to a career as a full-time writer and blogger, I knew that my path wasn’t going to be straightforward for two reasons- one, I was learning by doing and making a whole lot of mistakes along the way and two, I would have to accept that I would not be making half as much money as I did in my finance career. Of course there are far more important things than money but money is quite important as well and anyone who says otherwise is either lying or enlightened to a point that’s beyond my comprehension.
But I wanted what I wanted- to wake up everyday and create something I loved and was proud of, and the freedom to travel as often and for as long as I pleased. So I rolled up my sleeves, enrolled myself in travel writing & social media courses, spent hours wrapping my head around the technical aspects of running a blog, put a conscious effort to better my writing, learnt new skills like photography, video, and marketing, and hustled like I’d never done in my life. And the results were encouraging- I got published in several online and some print magazines, my social media channels grew, my writing got better and I worked with a host of tourism boards, luxury hotels and tour companies. I even contributed a regular travel feature to a local print magazine in the UAE, where I’m based.
So far so good, right?
In spite of all this, I began to feel dissatisfied. Sometimes I felt like I wasn’t growing fast enough. At others, I felt like I’d taken on too much. I compared myself to my peers and that can be a disastrous thing to do in blogging or writing. I spent less and less time with my family and friends and began to obsess about my work to the point that the thought of it no longer excited me. And that was also because I wasn’t writing the kind of stories I wanted to write-other contractual obligations and freelance work that paid better took precedence.
Guess what happened next?
Writers block. Burn out. A strong desire to travel to take time off everything.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve realized that I need to slow down. My best friend has been telling me for a long time that maybe I’ve taken on too much. She’s almost always right and it’s only recently that I’ve started to accept that this time is no exception.
I don’t want my personal relationships to suffer. I don’t want to feel disconnected with the people I truly care about. I don’t want to constantly think about how to grow my social media channels, where to pitch my writings, or how to get new clients, not every minute of the day or right before I fall asleep. And I definitely don’t want to skip my workouts and meals, because I’m too busy working on the blog or my writing.
So, I’ve slowly begun to take it a little easier. I don’t beat myself up over some extra TV or music time. I take naps in the middle of the day when I really want to. I try to meet up with friends as often as I can and at least every other day. I’m still working hard, still learning every day and still hustling. But I’ve started to set aside time for my relationships and myself. I’m also slowly accepting that maybe my progress will be even slower this way, but at least I’ll still love what I do and why I do it. It was always about telling the best stories I could tell and inspiring others to believe that anything is possible if you want it bad enough. It was never about winning popularity contests or being famous. Heck, I hate the limelight.
As I’m learning to slow down and accept that things don’t always go as fast or where you want them to, especially when it involves the creative process, I’m beginning to discover the joy of letting go. Que sera, sera- and it’s liberating. Sometimes it’s important to step back and look at your life from the outside to get some perspective. I thought I was marching down a path with conviction but eventually realized that the pace was going to burn me out and I wouldn’t get very far.
So I’m slowing down- because I’m not in a race. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Have you ever gone through a phase like that? Or learned something from letting go? Fellow bloggers and freelancers, how do you deal with work/life balance?
I would love to hear about it in the comments – maybe your story could inspire me.
If you like this post, please share it to Pinterest: